first ultrasound!!! 5 weeks 4 days

There's our baby!!! As promised, I wanted to get this up ASAP. I was hoping for a heartbeat but its too soon. I was crazy nervous on Saturday but today I was feeling SO good and very optimistic surprisingly. Don't get me wrong, I was shaking with anxiety on the way there but I felt good. I'm so glad hubby was able to come. :) we saw the gestational sac and yolk sac. Doctor said they don't expect to see the yolk sac until 8mm and I was 7 so that was a good sign! We go back on Thursday, not Friday like I had thought. I will be exactly 6 weeks according to LMP. The doctor said that hopefully we'll see the fetal pole then. I'll be sure to post them then. Yay!

5 weeks

My OB has been AWESOME these days.  She has emailing me with updates non-stop cause she knows I'm anxious to find out the results.    I did the first HCG blood draw on Monday and got a 166.  I did start Google-ing even though I KNOW that only the change matters.  I didn't let myself get too far.  Did my second blood draw Wednesday morning and feverishly awaited the results all day. The doctor finally got the results a 5:00pm and shared them with me, it was great new.  My HCG was up to 512! She wanted to see at least a 53% rise. This was more than doubled!  Its such relieving news. There are no promises or guarantees, but it makes me feel pretty good.  So we still have the appointment for Monday's ultrasound!! I'm just praying that we receive more good news.  It will be very early- approximately 5 weeks 4 days,  but maybe we'll be lucky and see the flicker of a heartbeat.

Current symptoms:
1. Increased heartburn
2. Sporatic bouts of mild nausea
3. Decreased appetite with slight food/smell aversions
4. Tender nipples

I'll be sure to update you after Monday's ultrasound!

4 1/2 weeks

Like I mentioned, today I went to the lab for my HCG quant.  I have online access to my medical records and lab results, however they have a delay in posting the results... SO WHAT IS THE POINT?!? Anyway, its probably for the best because I would look up the results and start agonizing over the numbers.  When all that really matters is how today's HCG levels compare to Wednesday's.  I go to the lab at 7am, so hopefully my doctor will call me before the end of the day on Wednesday to let me know the results.  On Thursday I will be 5 weeks along.

Signs I knew I was pregnant:
1. Not very long after ovulation I cried at work. We all have our bad days- and my boss has them even more!  When my boss has a bad day it often seeps into mine one way or another.  But still, the only other time I can remember crying at work is the last time I was pregnant (but didn’t know it).
2.  Not just this Saturday, but last Saturday was cycle day 25, 7 DPO I could not pull myself out of bed! I'm quite the early riser on weekdays, but even on weekends, its rare that I wake up past 9am.  Well I think I finally dragged myself out of bed around noon that day.  And continued to lie around the rest of the afternoon.  I felt like a waste of life.  But I've said it before, fatigue was my most prominent symptom last time I was pregnant.  So of course it crossed my mind.

I went to acupuncture this Saturday and he asked me if my period came cause of course he knows my cycle, I told him 'no'.  (His English is not perfect so with an accent so its a little cute.  Then he was perplexed, 'When will it come?!'.  So I told him, 'I'm pregnant!'  He seemed surprised and excited. Covering his face, 'Really?!??'  So, he changed my treatment for pregnancy of course.  I have 1 more treatment left in the 10 I pre-paid for which reduced the cost.  At that time I will be a little over 5 weeks. He told me that he hope I can come until 11 weeks because it really helps to prevent miscarriage.  Of course he wants to sell me more treatments, but I do have some belief in this stuff, I mean, I did get pregnant right!  I will decide this coming Saturday.  6 sessions will get me to the "safe" point, the prepaid rate for 6 sessions only saves you $30.  And there's no refunds if god forbid something happened, or on more positive note- what if we went on vacation and missed 1 week, I would end up paying for a session I didn't need.  If the acupuncturist knows what they're doing, I don't think there's any harm in acupuncture after then, but it is expensive ($70 a session!).

Anyway, hopefully by my next post I will be reporting excellent HCG quant results and perhaps even news from my first ultrasound visit... or at least have the appointment set up.

I AM BECOMING MAMI!!!!

positive

I tested on Monday (cycle day 26, 8 DPO-days past ovulation), cause I couldn't help myself.  I tested Tuesday because I was going to my doctor's appointment that I explained in my last post, and the result would drastically change the conversation and appointment.  Today was day 28, 10 DPO.  This is the day I've typically been getting my period more or less.  I still couldn't help myself from testing again.  Luckily I still have some cheap pregnancy tests that came with all the ovulation strips i bought online.  Welllllll, YES I'm pregnant!!!  God it feels so good to say that!  After my doctor, your the first I'm telling.  Have I mentioned that hubby is away again?  Well he is.  I'm going to wait to tell him when he gets back.  The next people I will tell are the dentist and my acupuncturist.  That sounds funny I think, but its true.

On a serious note, I'm as nervous as I am excited.  I will be 4 weeks along tomorrow so its VERY early.  I can only pray that this is a successful, healthy pregnancy.  But I am well aware of the reality that nothing is guaranteed. I think I will feel better in 8-9 weeks when my first trimester is over, but I may very well continue to be a nervous wreck.  The first time I was pregnant I had to follow procedure.  The lab will test you to confirm you're pregnant (pretty much the same at home pregnancy test).  And then you get an ultrasound scheduled for the 10 week mark.  Until then, you're on your own and just wait. This time will be different because of what I've gone through. I will be doing consecutive HCG quants which will show my doctor my actual levels of HCG and the rate at which they're rising.  This will tell us a lot. Most importantly, it will show if the pregnancy is progressing as it should.  Every 2 or 3 days it should be doubling. So I'll head to the lab on Monday, and then again on Wednesday (when I'll be almost 5 weeks :]  ..that never gets old!)  I will also be taking progesterone. TMI ALERT:  Lets just say, I'm not taking it orally, if you catch my drift.  The doctor explained that this treatment is best right after you ovulate, but has the possibility to help even though I've clearly conceived.  Apparently I'll take it for 8 to 10 weeks! As I said, there are no guarantees.  So finally, after my HCG quants at the lab, we'll determine the next plan of action depending on the results.  Most likely we'll schedule an early ultrasound. SO EXCITING.  Its so unfortunate that I have this looming concern of something going wrong that prevents me from laying back and enjoying every second.  But I do what I can.

I had to share the awesome news today. Here's praying for the best!

at the doctor

Wow, I just left a really great doctors appointment. I still don't know yet if I'm pregnant this month, my temperature so far has not been a clear answer as to if I'm going to be getting my period or what. Of course, I tested before I left and did not get a positive pregnancy test of course or the topic would've been something totally different lol. However, my doctor's appointment went really, really well. This is the same doctor I've been seeing since my miscarriage almost a year ago. Well I should say I got pregnant almost a year though my miscarriage didn't happen till 10 weeks later. You know that story already, so here's the good news. I went to the doctor who, in the past, when I had a miscarriage just told me that this is natural, this is the course that pregnancy takes, and there's not real explanation for why I haven't gotten pregnant. I guess nobody wants to hear that. I mean if you're going to have to go through something so devastating I guess it's comforting to know what happened. I understand it's hard to know why someone miscarries. But now I need to know why I haven't gotten pregnant again. Its been some months since the chemical pregnancy and it was a stressful situation itself so I reached out to my doctor as I think I've mentioned before, and just asked 'so what's next? I just need to know what the next steps will be even if they don't have now.' That's the same time that I shared my charts with her, just like in my last post when I shared with you my charts. I figured, it can't hurt to tell her that I've noticed the pattern of a short luteal phase. I think I told you last time that she described it as controversial and as well as the treatment but I could come in and see her so I made the appointment. But I'm beginning to understand that her tone is not as negative as I originally understood, she's actually just explaining that there's not medically proven evidence. Surprisingly, she was actually really excited and enthusiastic to work with me. It turns out she's gone through similar experiences. She has told me about her own experiences before, and today she wanted to tell them again because she can relate. She's had miscarriages and she also has a short luteal phase, which is why she so excited and interested in helping me now. She explained all the science behind our bodies physiology as well as how possible treatments. And I really appreciated that. She's also willing to go above and beyond and try everything, just like me. So she is willing to offer me that type of treatment. She's going to redo my day three tests from the last time we did them. This is a test to determine if all my hormone levels are right and at the appropriate levels at the appropriate time in the cycle. Then she's going to start me on Clomid. Clomid is the prescription brand of medicine that I was taking the soy isoflavins for- the ones that I took the first time I got pregnant. Both are supposed to make your body produce more estrogen with the outcome supposedly being superior ovulation because your body is kind of tricked into producing more estrogen than normal. She's going to review my day three tests and if everything comes  back normal again I'll take clomid. If something doesn't come back as she is expects, she may actually tell me to take an even greater amount of Clomid. Then, I'm already scheduled to come back for a mid cycle scan and see how my uterus is and see how many follicles have been created. Then we can decide if I need more tests and or whether to start on progestrone. She almost talks as if this is like a magic bullet. I won't let it get my hopes as much as it could because she was so excited about it. But her enthusiasm certainly brought up my spirits. She told me the risks, which were mostly multiples, yes, that's right, twins possibly triplets it or more. I've never been one for hoping for multiples although I know some people that dream of them. I would be blessed with any pregnancy, but I also know the risks. Multiples create a high risk pregnancy and I just want a safe and healthy pregnancy, whatever that may be. She even brought in pictures of a patient and her twins and told me about another set. She told me she's due for a singleton pregnancy, insinuating mine, which is really fun.  So I'm just happy to report such a great doctors visit she made it sound like I'll be pregnant next month. We'll see. I'll keep you updated.

update

Ahhh it's been too long again! Anyway, wanted to give a quick update. I emailed the doctor to ask what our when the next steps will be. They didn't have to be right away but I just needed to know what to expect and if there was anything I could do. Because it's not like they were going to call me and be like 'Heyyy so your not pregnant still, let's see what we can do.' I started my email by saying that we've been trying for almost a year and a half, when do we do more? I also casually mentioned the short luteal phase thing I spoke about in my last post. She responded by telling me first that the time your trying restarts after every miscarriage and chemical pregnancy and you'd have to be trying for a year to move forward with looking into new treatment. It's only been about 6 months since the chemical pregnancy so that's awhile off. I definitely prefer to conceive naturally, but I'd just also hate to be waiting for something if it's never going to happen so it sucks. She also mentioned that luteal phase defect, as I was alluding to, is very controversial as is the treatment for it, but still asked more questions. I responded and also sent her the same chart from my last post. It had the answers to her questions and more. She acknowledged that it did look short so she said she'd show it to the reproductive endocrinologist for their opinion. Not long after, she responded again saying that they agreed and reminded me that the whole thing is controversial but I could come in if I wanted. Of course I wanted to come in! So I've scheduled the soonest appointment which will be next week. I have no idea what to expect. When she uses the word 'controversial' I get a negative connotation from it. But now that I've been seeing her for awhile now, it's not the first time she's used that word. She definitely used it when I inquired about progesterone cream. (Note: I took her advice on that one and did not try it.) I don't if she's trying to scare me out of things or that's just how she talks but I've gotten to understanding that I think she's just saying-don't get your hopes up because there's not enough evidence in a scientific sense that this is proven to work all the time... Or something like that.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that update since I've been slacking.  I'll let you know how my appointment goes if I don't post sooner.