feelings of hope

Yesterday I talked about really going it for this month. What's behind all that is that when you're trying to get pregnant its all about waiting and being patient. "It will happen when the time is right." Well, I'm just not that kind of person. I've never thought of myself as a control freak, but it is SO hard for me to just wait around and let things happen. I've been trying that... coping by tracking my cycles to improve my chances and having all the blood work done to make sure there was nothing else going on. That's about it.  Well this month I'm taking action and its almost like I feel a high of optimism and if nothing else those positive vibes will be beneficial in themselves.

I was inspired to buy the acupuncture Groupon when I heard not a first hand account but a second hand account from a friend of a friend who had gotten pregnant after trying it.  From the little I know, it sounds like this other woman was not ovulating well, so (as far as I can tell) not the same issue as mine.  However, I had run across the idea before online but never seriously considered it.  I suppose it just helped to know that another sane, seemingly smart person (I don't know her that well really) in the same cohort as me had found success after trying it and it pushed me to run and try it myself. I realize that her success and even my potential success could be total coincidence, however that's the case for pretty everything so who cares?

I found the Groupon Friday and bought it Saturday. Probably would have scheduled my appointment Sunday if they were open :P  Anyway, gave them a call this morning, I figured the sooner you start the better and while you can start at any time in the cycle, what better time to start than the beginning - day 4? I was pretty excited and called first thing. I was prepared not to necessarily get an appointment today or even this week even though I wanted to. When I called not only were there no available appointments available for a few weeks, but the woman was not even cheerful or the least bit apologetic. More so about the fact of their ridiculous hours. Not open on weekends-ok I get it. No evening hours-ugh fine.. but not even any lunch time hours! They aren't in the office from 12-3.. wtf! And, she said that the first appt at least would take an hour and a half. So the only available appointments are at like 930am or 3. So I have to take a half day off of work for this and still, after my 3 sessions from my Groupon is done, pay $100 a session. (I understand from my research that 2 or 3 months is usually needed- or 8-12 sessions.) Its steep I know, but I was willing to go above and beyond for this whole baby thing and its cheap relative to other practices. But I'm simply not going to do what this woman was asking of me.  I checked the place out and it was a chiropractic center that offers all different types of alternative medicine so I'm not even sure this is really thus guy's specialty.  And the guy wasn't Asian.. which doesn't really matter but we are talking about an Eastern medicine so I was basically not impressed if you haven't figured that out already.

Hung up with this lady and immediately canceled my Groupon-yes you can do that and they make it easy so 1 point for groupon :) Still anxious to try acupuncture and do it soon since I thought it would be nice to start at the beginning of my cycle I went back to the place I found in my search before finding the Groupon. Since I don't know many people going through this, and I'm quite private about this struggle, I definitely couldn't get any personal recommendations. You can check the national registry of certified acupuncturists, but for things that are self regulated like that I also use other factors in my decision making: convenience to work or home, price, professionalism, the level of competence I perceive, and customer service. The one I settled on have all these. He had personable success stories going back to atleast 2007 so hes been around... which could have been fake but I got the sense they were real (perception). He performs acupuncture for a local fertility clinic. I think it took me less than 10 mins to get to from work. He offers a pre pay discount... so if you commit to 10 sessions up front and pay you get a good discounted price. (6 was another option) And a big one -accommodating! His hours say 1-5 Mon-Fri but he was willing to see me today at 1230... how perfect.  I also already scheduled my next 2 appointments and was willing to see me on a Saturday after my Yoga class (you're not supposed to exercise after). So this man won my business!

Another one of my long posts.... I'll talk more about the experience itself in my next post ;)

m.i.a.

I know I haven't really posted in- forever... I've been struggling to be positive and would have to flood the internet with more sob stories.  God knows my Facebook feed isn't lacking in them, and the rest of the internet certainly isn't either.  Since my last posts hubby returned of course and I was accurate in the thought the timing was not good.  In addition, another month has passed but still no go :(  Anyway, a new month is upon us and I'm ready for another try.  I decided to go all out this month.  I bought an acupuncture Groupon and think I'm going to try some fertility acupuncture.  The research I've done has given me the impression that they may try to give me some herbal supplements as well, so we'll see.  I also decided I'm going to try the soy flavorless again (yes I will inform the acupuncturist).  I bought 2 bottles the first time (sale I think) I tried them so I still have some anyway. And, as I've mentioned before, the first time I tried them- I got pregnant that cycle.  I wasn't certain that it was a direct result though so after my miscarriage at 10 weeks I didn't necessarily start back up on them.  In fact, I know that their use and soy in general is very controversial, especially when you're trying to get pregnant.  So I was somewhat apprehensive to try them again.  But its been like 8 months or something since all that.. and I had that  chemical pregnancy a bit later that messed up my cycle for probably 3 months.  I'm still at a point when I want to give it a shot once again.

At the end of each cycle I go into the a very sad state because its another month I did not get pregnant.  However, at the beginning of the next cycle I do feel a sense of excitement knowing that this might be the month!  A little bipolarish but I think I've mentioned it before. So yes, as usual I did calculate my potential due date for the month.  I don't care if it makes me sounds crazy cause it give me something to look forward to.  SO, here's to hoping that this Thanksgiving is extra special and that November 29 is a day to put on my calendar this year.  Promise I'll write more often.